“We really should get another guitar player,” Squawky said, wiping mist off the window. They were already well on their way out of Rattwater.

“We already have one!” Tallywhack said, looking at her.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Be very careful now, Tallywhack.”

“You already play the guitar, so its-”

Squawky tackled him like a star pickleball⁵ player, sending him flailing to the Buggy floor. She went for a big punch but her feathers softened the blow.

“It’s a completely different instrument, you furball!” she yelled, pinning him to the ground. “The bass inhabits an entirely separate position in the song!”

“Break it up, you two!” Rodney said, pulling Squawkywhack apart. “If we have it your way, there won’t be anything left for the guitar player to join!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Squawky said, dusting off her jorts. “I guess I’m sorry about that.”

“But I agree with you,” T-Bone said, “we should look into getting another guitarist.”

“What for?” Rodney asked. “The band’s great as it is!”

“Don’t be stupid, Rodney,” Squawky said. “Any time we play a new song they throw tomatoes at us!”

“It’s true, Rodney,” T-Bone said.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” Rodney said, laughing. “C’mon, Tally, back me up here!”

“No, I think they’re right, Rod,” Tallywhack said. “I mean, last night was a great show and all, but we did play Pennies and Mash about eleven times in a row.”

“And then we just left,” Squawky said.

“Ok, I get it,” Rodney said. “We’re not having the best tour but we always bounce back, right?”

“We’ve never bounced back from anything,” Squawky said.

“Yeah, Rodney,” the drummer said from the driver’s seat. “All we’ve ever done is go up and up and up and now we’re at the peak. We’ve never had any adversity, so now we don’t know how to deal with it when it comes. And when it does, it’ll all come crashing down, leaving us-”

“And we need a new drummer, too,” Squawky said. Everyone nodded.

“Fine! Fine,” Rodney said, “we’ll get a new guitarist.”

“And a new drummer,” Tallywhack said.

“And a new drummer. Any ideas?”

“The Oracles just broke up,” T-Bone said.

“Too country,” Squawky said.

“What about that mossgaze guy, what’s his name?” Rodney asked. “Dirttooth Treeroot, I think I know his manager.”

“Too mossgaze-y,” Squawky said.

“YOU COME UP WITH AN IDEA THEN! Sorry, sorry.” Rodney sat down, doing his breathing exercises. Squawky started to respond:

“I-”

“Wait!” Tallywhack said, hopping up. “Wango Pango’s guitarist just quit! Maybe he’ll want to join-”

“Oh, shut up, Tallywhack,” Squawky said.

“What? You don’t think so?”

“It’s Wango Pango, Tally,” Rodney said.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“It’s Wango Pango! Maybe forty years ago,” Rodney said, “but now? Tally, he’s too big a deal to join the Bugs.”

“Hey!” Tallywhack said. “Have some faith in yourselves! Maybe we’re not Wango Pango, ok? No one is Wango Pango except Wango Pango. But we’re Bring Me the Bugs, the second biggest polka band to ever walk the earth! And we gotta start acting like it. We can’t keep playing the same old songs to the same old people all the time. What happened to that little band playing beach cabanas in north Denn, suffering through poverty just for the love of the music? Are we gonna let one guitarist keep us from getting back to the top? From getting our passion back? I say no! I choose to fight! I choose to climb through the rubble and reach towards the midday sun! So, who’s with me?”

…

“That was one of the stupidest things you’ve ever said,” Squawky said, finishing off the window. It was dawn.

…

The drummer turned around in the driver’s seat. “So, what do we do now?”