Orctown was another good show, even if it was a small venue. Tallywhack liked small shows. They reminded him of when the band was up and coming, just before the war started. Those were the golden years, the years when he couldn’t write a bad note and every penny was spent on terrible, cheap northern Dennish food. Of course, none of that land was Dennish anymore; Rattwater was considered northern Denn now. Shame, too. The shows were never better than in those beach cabanas, playing what would become their early hits to small crowds under the stars. Now everything had changed.

Not all for the bad, no doubt. They could afford real food now, and the Bug Buggy was a lot nicer than the old one.

One thing he didn’t miss was the guitarist. Oh boy, that guitarist was something else. That was something the whole band could agree on, even in the midst of multi-show arguments. It was worth the band having an emptier sound if they were rid of the big, bad wolf, as it were. The issue was that the fans liked him. Adored him, really. Called him the secret weapon of Bring Me the Bugs. If only they knew.

Having fled at speed out of fear of Urkish litigation, they arrived in Rattwater in record time. Unfortunately. Tallywhack didn’t let it get him down, though. Rattwater wasn’t all bad. It was better than being homeless, or so it was said.

The Buggy rode through the high streets to the clamor of a newly formed crowd pushing themselves into its windows. The emerald plated guards couldn’t - or didn’t - do much to stop it, so Tallywhack and the band were met face to face with hundreds of ravenous, city-bred fans looking for a chance to jump in and smother them to death in the name of fanatic adoration.

Despite the rough few years they’d had, the Bugs were almost as popular as ever, though they had gone from a “they’re not underground, you hipster” band to an “I’ve heard half a song and decided they’re overrated” band. They don’t teach you about that zeitgeist shift in Wanting to Become a Famous Musician school, if there were such a thing. And rest assured, if it did exist, Wanting to Become a Famous Musician University’s opening course would be on the exact opposite topic - that being famous is always a great time, all the time.

Case in point, Tallywhack’s exit from the Bug Buggy:

The moment he stepped out onto the cobbled street, blocked in front by poor Rodney, the crowd nearly deafened him with their cries of ah! and woo! and other similarly pleasant conversation starters.

“Make way, everyone! Make a gap, c’mon!” Rodney was trying his best but it was no use. Before them was a sea of screaming faces and various bodily smells.

“What are we gonna do?” Tallywhack asked, trying his best to make himself heard over the crowd.

“Stay here, I guess,” Squawky said, sitting down on the Buggy floor.

“No, c’mon fellas!” T-bone said. “Tally, what do we always do?”

“You know what, T-bone? You’re right!” He unbuckled his accordion and placed his hands inside the straps, feeling the crowd realize what was happening. Do or die, Tallywhack, he thought. Do or die. So he began:

Help yourself, help yourself

To the pennies and mash

The winds will blow and the smells will grow

Up and up in a flash

Help yourself, help yourself

To my family-given stash

And eat yourself into bad health

With plenty of pennies and mash

It was “Pennies and Mash,” a song from their self-titled debut. It had become, against all odds, an anthem of the people. Never had it failed him, and this was no exception. It took no longer than two lines for the crowd to join in, singing every last word. “The winds will blow and the smells will grow, up and up in a flash!” Never gets old, he thought. Never.

They carried the torch long after he stopped singing. “Help yourself, help yourself!” The band made their way through the new path in the sea. The chant echoed through the streets of Rattwater and Rodney, not looking the slightest bit surprised, led them through without a moment’s hesitation. “To my family-given stash!”

Tallywhack, standing in the back doorway, let the band pass. Then, for a single moment, he felt the chant wash over him. It is something frighteningly few experience, hearing a group of people singing your song back to you. “And eat yourself into bad health!” And a song like Pennies and Mash is once in a generation. Rodney pulled him inside. It was another good show. “With plenty of pennies and mash!”